According to Mr. Henrie, dating becomes an extreme sport; hectic, and a big challenge if you ignore these five aspects about your partner:
- Do they support you or compete with you?
Does your partner support you or compete with you? Whenever you win in life, and your partner becomes repulsive and doesn’t seem exactly happy for you, you are set to suffer in that relationship.
- Do they take accountability without turning into “the victim”?
If ever there is a disagreement with your partner, do they turn into a victim or take responsibility and positive accountability? If you call her out on something and she victimizes herself, you’re in for a tough ride.
- Are they emotionally consistent or addictive?
Do they love you consistently, or do they have an on and off switch; they love you today and don’t want even to look at you the next day? They don’t pick up when you call them, they bluetick your messages?
There is something called taumabonding; someone loves you in that moment when they need something specific from you. If that is the kind of partner you have, you will suffer.
- Do they respect your boundaries or punish you for them?
When you set a boundary to deal with things you don’t need in your life or in the relationship, do they guilt-trip you, or are they receptive to them? If they make you feel like a villain in your own relationship, you will suffer.
- Do they choose you even when it is inconvenient for them, or only when it is beneficial?
If they only choose you when it is beneficial for them, they don’t love you as a person. They only love the privileges of being with you and the things you can help them with. You can never last with that person, and if you do, you will always be in a cage with that person. You will suffer.
